I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
