You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
