marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
