I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
