You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
