How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
