I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
