Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
