He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
