Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so let's talk penis.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
