god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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