how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
