We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
