I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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