He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
