I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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