he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
4 words: hood of his car
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
