i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
