i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
