Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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