i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Blood and glitter go together right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
