Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
