I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
