I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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