If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
