I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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