Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
third nipple confirmed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
