it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
