I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
