Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
