I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
did you just send me my own nude
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i think im in europe. pls send help
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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