Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
