My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She swung at the pinata with crutches
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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