Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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