doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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