just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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