I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
