I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My breasts were aching with rage.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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