Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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