i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Randomize
