I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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