he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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