it wasn't lemon gatorade
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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