I puked a lego.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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