Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
