He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
