I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
