Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
