I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
