The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
