Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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