I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
