just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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