She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
