Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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