is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
