Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
