Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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